I know. It’s been a while. LIFE happened. It’s still happening, but it’s time to try to get back to writing. People keep asking me when Deceived is going to be out. I still haven’t finished writing it. Heck, I don’t even think I’m a quarter of the way through writing it. Every time I open my Scrivener file, I freeze up. I remember a day last January (yes, over a year ago) when I managed to write a chapter or 2, but it was like pulling teeth every word of the way. I didn’t enjoy it.
Now I’m not saying I’m getting back to writing Deceived…not yet. For one thing, I’m not ready yet. For another thing, I know people asking me about it is a good thing. I know it means they’re interested and enjoy my stories. But my brain is twisting it and making it feel like pressure. So I’m not pushing myself to look at it just yet. But I am writing. Nothing anyone will read anytime soon, if ever. But at this point, it’s not about people reading my words; it’s about getting them out to begin with. I’m writing…sort of a memoir, but not exactly. And I’m writing it in an unlined journal with different colored pens and Sharpies and stickers and craft tape and photos from my new Polaroid ZIP printer (which is really fun, btw.) I’m being artsy with it. My desk is an absolute mess of pens and stickers and such. This, from the girl who used to absolutely not be able to stand a single thing out of place on her desk. I’ve forced myself to live with my messy desk for 2 weeks now, and I don’t notice it anymore.
I’ve evolved this past year; it’s time for my writing style to evolve, too. I bought a sketchbook and pencils and have been drawing a bit. Me, who has claimed for 15 years that I have zero artistic ability, am drawing. I remembered that I actually do have some ability, at least for copying things, and that I took an art class in high school and loved it. I’m trying to give my creativity a kick in the rear, and am hoping that doing something out of the ordinary might be the way to do it.
So I’m going to start writing here again. I’m going to aim for once a week, but no promises. I’m not putting any pressure on myself just yet. Baby steps. There’s an electronic artist I love, Faderhead. He sends weekly emails that have a bit of structure…he talks about his work in progress, his writing process, things related to the industry, and random things like movies and books he loved and songs that have inspired him throughout the week. I look forward to receiving it every Friday morning. I want to do something like that here, so that’s what I’m going to aim to deliver.
I won’t be doing any conventions in 2016. I most likely won’t publish anything in 2016 (though there’s a chance that I might closer to the end of the year, but I’m not promising anything.) I will be working to get my creativity back. I will be trying to find a better work-life balance. I will be working to get myself healthy, in all the myriad ways that entails. And I will be writing more.